One of the saddest moments in my early  styling career was during a shopping trip for my vacation to the Caribbean. I wasn’t on duty as a stylist that day; I was just shopping for nice things to take on my trip.

In the dressing room next to me, I heard sobbing. It made me stop momentarily before asking, “Are you okay?” The sobbing turned into a floodgate of tears and self-berating words. “I can’t find anything that fits. I am horrible. My husband is right; I look ugly.” She was inconsolable at that moment. My heart was breaking for her. I told her I was a stylist, and we could fix this. The crying continued, but she finally said, “Yes, please help me.”

Ultimately, we found a few swimsuits and separate pieces for a better fit, ones that emphasized her positives. Next, we found nice sarongs  and mesh coverups to hide what she wanted to cover, which added stylish elements into the mix. We looked at sunglasses, hats, straw bags and beach towels, all to create a cohesive look for her trip. In parting, I gave her this advice: “A tan, lip gloss, a beautiful coverup or body-skimming caftan, nice shoes, and giving yourself grace, makes everything better.”

Most of us have a chorus of criticism in our heads. The inner voices are familiar, as they remind us of the bullies we endured during junior high and high school at lunchtime, in gym classes, in science classes, or when walking to class.

On average, a person has over 60,000 thoughts daily; sadly, seventy-five percent are negative. This constant barrage of inner mean girl cum inner critic wins most of the time because it is the loudest voice.

Most of us quickly recognize when others bully or disrespect us, but unfortunately, we rarely recognize it when we do it to ourselves. That voice that is barely a whisper in our ears constantly reinforces the negative: We are not good enough, pretty enough, or deserving of all we desire. The toxic inner voice serves for nothing other than causing shame, discomfort, insecurity, and anxiety.

We must work hard to silence this inner criticism and learn to love ourselves, flaws and all. When you start saying negative things to yourself, stop, reframe the thought, and force yourself to recognize something positive. Easier said than done, but worth the daily effort.

Silencing your inner critic is especially important in fashion. Every trend or style doesn’t suit every body shape, and designers don’t create all trends with every body type in mind. In reality, most fashion styles cater to a specific body type and rarely embrace size inclusivity. The more you appreciate your body and accept yourself as you are, the easier it becomes to reframe your self-perception. When you look in the mirror, don’t focus on flaws—see a canvas of individuality.